400 % !!??

            400% !!??

            A friend who really understands the Internet (and most things computer related) told me a few weeks ago that the Internet is running at around 400% of capacity.

            It took me a beat or two to get my head around that statement…400% of capacity. Then I pictured making a sausage with 400% of the filling. The expected result was a mess. Luckily it was only a thought experiment and clean up was a breeze. But here’s the thing: How can anything function at 400% of what it’s supposed to handle?

            And what if while driving, you went at 400% of the speed limit? Some of those turns you always take for granted will suddenly become far more “challenging”.

            So if the internet is running at 400 % of it’s intended capacity, what are the upsides and downsides?

            Have you noticed that your connection to the WWW is slower and often rather …tenuous? Of course you have!

            And, so far as I can tell, there is no upside.

            That’s because everyone who is normally on the internet is still on the internet and lots and lots of people who normally go into work are also now on the internet working from home, while dealing with spouses, kids, dogs and cats (dogs are usually “great” with you being around more; cats, not so much…they value their “me time” doing important stuff like lying in a sunbeam and batting at things like coasters on tables, trying to see how far off the edge they can push them before they fall). I had a parrot for many years; she wasn’t that patient. She’d just throw stuff off of a shelf up high just to see it hit the floor

            Anyway, Bob (the parrot) didn’t go on the computer often- she much preferred pulling all the keys up rather than pressing them down (and when you have 20 keys lying around on a table top with your parrot looking guilty, I defy you to remember the querty keyboard layout).

            Anyway, we’re all now on the “confuser” surfing the world wide web, and while we’re doing so expect some detours, roadblocks, cul de sacs, and delays… Sounds a lot like navigating (what used to be) L.A. traffic.

            I imagine that “Zoom” is one big reason: people still want/need to collaborate and with “social distancing” (if you ask me, there’s nothing “social” about it!), using up a huge amount of bandwidth in this manner is the only way to work together while apart.

            That is, until we develop a way to do some sort of “mind meld” technique but that so far as I know is still in the “blue sky” phase.  It would certainly save bandwidth, but by the time we finally achieve this, I figure worrying about bandwidth consumption will have gone the way of the Walkman and the iPod.

            “Zoom” has become ubiquitous…its stock worth has soared (into the billions!) and it’s even become a “verb”. That is: “We’re zooming a meeting today at two, try to have your kids and pets occupied for that half hour or so –unless Ralph goes into one of his long winded explanations, in which case, we’ll be here until dinner-time – Door Dash anyone?”

            Another use of bandwidth is tracking your deliveries- down to the minute- so you know when to start bingeing the latest season of “What We Do In The Shadows”, or “Rick and Morty”. – Be sure to tip your driver!

            But can you even stream your favorite shows? There’s that pesky bandwidth issue again. It’s a sort of ritual for me: I go to speakeasy.com and “track” my current speeds. But here’s the thing: Lots of times I have great speeds, but if the file I’m looking for is big enough to take more than a few minutes, then the internet seems to go into dot-dash-dot mode. That is, not steady.

            Downloading (and uploading) has become an adventure. Will it fail? Again? Or will I finally get the file I need to finish my work? Who knows?

            Only the Internet gods know. And they ain’t talking. They’re too busy keeping the WWW from crashing and burning from all the “friction” built up by seemingly everyone in the country being online all day.

            400% of capacity?

            That’s gotta tax even the Internet gods!